Sunday, December 18, 2005

Force Out

Wrapped up a great showcase this weekend at a community college south of Tampa. Populating my database and updating the signability questionnaires was top priority. I also picked-up on some new talent for next year.

Tomorrow, I'll be traveling to Ft. Lauderdale to have lunch with my new bird dog for south Florida. And like my relationship with Goldie, this too is a pre-arranged marriage. I swear, DeSear and Cooper are out to get me. Florida's been my life for years. I know the college coaches, HS coaches, AAU and other top traveling team coaches, and even a few of the little league commissioners in those prime areas.

To put someone in my market...especially south Florida, is criminal. This is almost getting too much for me to handle. I'm this close to going "Billy Martin." (fingers held almost together) Why don't they just fire me and get it over with? And to top it off, I've been told that this new bird dog of mine is a whiz at. . . (anyone, anyone). . . you guessed it. . . the computer. Can you believe this crap? What the hell are they trying to do to me?

But there is some good news. Words cannot express how thrilled I was to learn that our club's psychologist is coming to Orlando between Christmas and New Years for an annual shrink conference. Maybe I can be their case study? Maybe I already am? Where are the cameras and hidden microphones? I can hear 'em now, "Let's take an old-school baseball scout and surround him with some statistical freaks that believe the only three things a pitcher can control are K's, HR's, and walks." Where are my padded walls because I'm going to the Hotel California for sure! You can check out anytime you'd like but you can never leave.

And when they're done poking and prodding me like the experiment I've become, perhaps our club's psychologist can break away to interview Dallas Parker and a couple other Orlando kids with questionable make-ups. I can't forget to call Dallas and the other kids this week to set it all up. But of course, me first Doc.

Oh and by the way, Russell Reed is en fuego down in the Liga de Beisbol Profesional de Puerto Rico. He's tied with several players for second in home runs with 5 and tied for first in stolen bases with 6. Not to mention, his batting average is well over .330. Damn, did I just quote some statistics? Goldie's rubbing off on me already. At least I didn't quote his OBP . . . yet.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Definitely not a real scout. Everything is wrapped up neatly at the end. Decent fiction, but certainly not a real scout.

4:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home